The Heart Wants What it Wants
In search of love we sometimes come across special souls with that we feel an instant connection. It can't be explained and no matter which red flags pop or deal breakers that we would have otherwise paid attention to, there's a magnetic pull.
“Isn’t that how falling in love so often works? Some stranger appears out of nowhere and becomes a fixed star in your universe.”
― Kate Bolick, Spinster: Making a Life of One’s Own
We pine, overthink, and try to find ways to make sense of the connection to no avail. The unlucky part in some of these connections is that other doesn't feel the same and we're left wanting them without being wanted back. It doesn't make sense and yet we try our best to convince them. In our minds, we believe this strong connection must be for a reason, and when it's not reciprocated the mind goes crazy.
It's true that the heart wants what it wants even when the mind finds reason to walk away.
A few of my friends who are in search of love have said this very thing. They end up not giving others a chance and wait for the object of their affection to decide in their favor. This leads to us giving more of ourselves to one person and leaves us lacking in all the ways we want to be fulfilled. We make rash decisions, go against better judgment and tune out those who tell us to walk away.
What I've come to know about love is that it doesn't need to be reciprocated in order to feel it, to know it exists. Love is the ultimate gift in which there should be no expectation.
“If I love you, what business is it of yours?”
― Johann wolfgang von Goethe
What a beautiful thought. But, also one that we learn is painful. Just because we're capable of love doesn't mean we'll get it in return and that's OK. An unrequited love is sometimes more about the chase, wanting something we can't have, and all of that. However, to know that you're capable of it should give you some solace that when it is returned, it's beautiful.
If you haven't guessed by now, you'll soon realize I'm a romantic. I want to see shooting stars, feel fireworks on my lips, and daydream of sweet and pure love. It won't be perfect but perfectly configured for me. It won't be without heartache and arguments, but it will be less about the cons and more about the pros.
When the heart wants what it wants, what's the last straw that makes us finally wake up and walk away? Is it time? Is the love we're seeking shown in another?
Have you experienced unrequited love? If so, how did you get over it?