Kink Curious by Gigi Engle - Book Review

Kink Curious: A Shame-Free Guide to Desire, Curiosity, and Consent

Advance Reader Copy Review

There is something quietly powerful about a book that treats curiosity as wisdom rather than something to tame.

Kink Curious is not a manifesto or a spectacle. It is a grounded, compassionate guide for people who want to understand their desires without pressure, shame, or performance. Gigi Engle approaches kink not as something shocking or extreme, but as a deeply human language of curiosity, communication, and care.

This is a book that meets readers exactly where they are.

A Different Kind of Sex-Positive Book

From the first chapters, Kink Curious makes its intentions clear. This is not about chasing novelty or proving how adventurous you are. It is about agency.

Engle carefully dismantles the myths that still surround kink. That it is dangerous by default. That it is only for certain people. That it must look a specific way to be valid. In their place, she offers something far more stabilizing: consent, self-knowledge, emotional awareness, and safety as a foundation rather than a limitation.

The early sections establish essential groundwork, exploring power dynamics, the difference between kink and fetish, fantasy versus reality, and how desire often intersects with identity, history, and nervous system responses. Nothing feels sensationalized. Nothing feels minimized. The tone is calm, affirming, and refreshingly direct.

Curiosity Without Pressure

What makes Kink Curious stand out is its emphasis on reflection over performance.

Rather than positioning kink as a checklist of experiences to collect, Engle invites readers inward. The book repeatedly returns to questions like:

• What genuinely interests you?

• What feels safe in your body?

• What boundaries feel grounding rather than restrictive?

• How do you want to feel during and after intimacy?

The exercises, journal prompts, worksheets, and advice-style letters transform the book into something participatory. You are not told what to want or how far to go. You are encouraged to notice, reflect, and respond to your own inner signals.

For readers who are curious but cautious, or intrigued but carrying old messages around shame or fear, this approach feels especially supportive.

Safety as Part of Pleasure

One of the most thoughtful aspects of Kink Curious is how deeply it integrates safety into every conversation.

Consent is not treated as a one-time agreement, but as an ongoing dialogue. Emotional safety is given equal weight to physical safety. Topics like trauma awareness, aftercare, communication, and mental health are woven throughout rather than isolated into a single chapter.

This framing reframes safety not as a barrier to pleasure, but as the condition that allows pleasure to exist at all.

It’s a reminder that trust, care, and clarity are not unsexy. They are foundational.

Who This Book Is For

Kink Curious is well suited for:

• People who are newly curious and want grounded, accessible guidance

• Readers unlearning shame around desire and sexuality

• Partners learning how to communicate wants, limits, and boundaries

• Anyone who values emotional safety alongside exploration

It does not assume readers want to try everything it discusses. It assumes they want to understand themselves better, and that assumption makes the book feel respectful and expansive rather than prescriptive.

Final Thoughts

There is a softness to Kink Curious that feels intentional.

Gigi Engle does not write from a place of authority towering over the reader. She writes as someone walking alongside them, offering reassurance that curiosity is allowed, boundaries are valid, and going slowly is not a failure.

This is not a book about becoming someone else.
It is a book about becoming more honest with who you already are.

In a culture that still teaches people to fear their own desires, Kink Curious feels like a calm, steady invitation to listen instead.

Disclosure: I received an advance reader copy of this book via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. All thoughts are my own.